L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Feeling Thelonious

August 2, 2007 on 10:19 am | In Music, Sex Files |

Our fabulous sax player, Ferko Saxmanov shared this delightful tidbit of libidinous lit with me. I’ve searched for the author, but all I can find is that it won a porno short story contest. If you know who wrote it, please let me know.

JAZZED

It was a balmy night and I was feeling thelonious. I hadn’t had any tatum in so long I could have bixed a choirgirl. But I wouldn’t have to - the moment I entered the Luboff Lounge, the babe with the giant eubies fixed me with a “come duke me” look. She uncrossed her legs and I could see almost all the way to birdland. I felt a tingle in my tito puente, and with a smile, I had her. This was it.

No sooner had we closed my front door than this hot django had grabbed me by the hines and pulled me close. I insinuated my hand under her sweater until I found one of her brubecks, then I slowly traced a circle around her lee konitz.

“Oh, baby,” she cooed, “you make my red norvo wet.” She unzipped my getz, and reached in to cradle my johnny hodges in her hand. “I’d love a little mingus, darling. My gillespie is aching.”

By this time my king oliver was ready to take a solo; I could hardly wait to coda, but I obliged her. She hoisted her skirt, and I saw that she wasn’t wearing any basies. I dove right into her satchmo and attacked her lennie tristano.

“Ooh,” she moaned, “I want your krupa! Zoot me! Miff me! Fill my cootie williams!”

I was ready - almost. I felt my pocket. Uh oh. “Sorry, sweets ” I said. No blakey tonight. I’m all out of condons.”

*-=-*-=-*

Reading that made me dizzy. I had a jones for a cole drink or a bite to eat. Maybe a jelly roll. I had to krall to the door. It seemed like miles; I thought it would take five days. But anyway, I was out of cash and had no chets in my wallet to cover the billie, much less cab fare.

See more like that one:

• Play Freebird!
• Bailout Video Hits YouTube
• Bailout Man
• Tough Love
• The Wages of Beer