L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Cash from Nigeria

September 25, 2007 on 12:07 am | In Backstage Pass, General Musing, Music |

My name is Eva and I’m an Internet addict.

I didn’t realize how bad it was until we had that big storm last winter. We lost power for six days. It was hell. We had to communicate by talking. There was nothing more entertaining to do than chip ice off the cats.

I did learn some interesting things though. My children were grown up. My husband has a beard!

Still, I was desperate to get back online. There was a whole world out there sharing YouTube videos of banned Swedish condom commercials and I was stuck in the dark trying to cook burgers with armpit heat.

I’m addicted. I can’t deny it. When I get up in the morning and go to my computer and there are 649 new messages, for one brief moment I feel… popular.

And it’s proof there’s kindness in the world. All these total strangers care about me! They want to help me get rich, lose weight, meet girls, enlarge my penis. It’s so very touching. It makes me want to give something back. And hey, there’s this guy in Nigeria who needs my help…

I know you think it’s a scam, but you’re wrong. I just received my first installment:

OK, so it’s worth four cents. Still, don’t you think it’s a sign of good faith? I’m heading to the mall!

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