October 16th, 2007
According to this article the urge to eat chocolate may be due to chocolate-loving bacteria living in our stomachs - rather than the innate, soul-melting fabulousness of that dark and sinful bean.
I have to admit, it makes me wonder if free will is an illusion. Is any thought, desire, repulsion the result of an intelligent brain or simply the random chemical regurgitation of some one-celled interloper? You may feel like an individual, but you are the borg.
However, it does provide a handy cop out. I now have an explanation for all my failings! Not guilty by reason of infestation.
But how about some bacteria that will be a little more helpful, hmm? Here are some suggestions:
1. Hairtearosi tenforticus. This newly bio-engineered organism lies dormant in your body until early spring when it becomes active and does your tax returns while you sleep.
2. Dishwashium vacuumiae. People who have colonies of this bacteria in their bloodstream feel an inexplicable obsession with cleaning products.
3. Gymnasia myachinbacillus. Only, theoretical at this point, this strain is hypothesized as the only possible explanation for people who enjoy working out.
4. Viagrio stiphtacoccus. Scientists are racing to isolate this powerful microorganism which could lead to a new cure for a flagging sex drive.
5. Blogella timewastium. Have you read this far in the post? It may be an indication that trillions of these bacteria have already infected your brain.
Do you know of any others?
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