L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Google: Another word for “what the…”

December 17, 2007 on 10:06 am | Join the conversation. You know you want to. | In General Musing

One of the quirky pleasures of blogging is watching what search terms lead people here. Some terms are obvious – my name, titles of songs, etc. But others… How did Google decide that my blog was just the thing the seeker of “knitted bondage gear” was looking for?

Often, the search terms are baffling and sometimes, oddly poetic. I swear, none of the phrases below actually appear in my blog. (Although I guess they do now). One could imagine whole scenarios speculating on the sequence of events that led to a search for these things:

• A sentimental song that casts a magic spell they all will hum along
• lyrics pirate everything sings in the seaweed
• Hats of the world
• is there goats on the moon
• Window rattling
• i ll sing it in your face! while we both embrace!
• i want to fly away swimming in the clouds
• stewed prunes cell membrane
• bear rolling down hill

A disturbingly high percentage suggest that the complex, modern technology our highly evolved fore brains devise is used largely to extend the grasp of far more primitive cerebral structures:

• Fat sexy arabian woman
• Incredibles porn
• Man bulge (a perennial favorite along with variants “big bulge”, “football bulge”, “bulge report”, “bulge shot” and “bruce willis bulge”)
• Nipple cozies
• Stories of twin sisters fucking each other
• Men caught having sex
• porn here have a donut
• Big penis (another favorite)
• blow it on my face your load i want to taste song
• movies of my sister fuck by me (I really don’t want to know)
• sex usa hoot sax

Google isn’t really doing anyone any favors here. If you came here looking for twin sisters fucking the Incredibles in nipple cozies, you’ll have to search again.

Of course, I do have to credit Google for sending the seeker of “sexy goddess” to my site.