L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Five Things I Learned at Midnight

January 1, 2008 on 8:58 am | | In General Musing, In the news

New Year’s Eve in Seattle.

I’m still not sure how it happened. I can be an entertaining drunk. But last night I shot straight past the first four stages of inebriation (1. Brilliant Conversationalist 2. Life of the Party 3. Sex Goddess 4. Weepy Sentimentalist) and went straight to No. 5: Floor Decoration. I’m told I didn’t snore. Much.

But never mind. I woke up remarkably refreshed and reinvigorated and in plenty of time to engage in the communal channel surf that has become our shared experience of the end of one year and the beginning of the next. I learned a few things.

1. TV news anchors may be paid to look like reporting on New Year’s Eve is The Most Fun Ever but apparently the network doesn’t allow them enough liquor or drugs to actually make it so. If you look past the cheery grins and orange-for-HDTV pancake you can still see “just kill me now” in their eyes.
2. Dick Clark has turned into an ent.
3. Schadenfreude is alive and well and enjoyed the hell out of the sputtering debacle that was the Space Needle Fireworks Spectacular. I wonder if they’ll try to blame the fiasco on Microsoft (I don’t know what happened. We hit return to start the fireworks and suddenly it was BSOD)
4. The Twilight Zone apparently had a per-episode budget of twelve cents and I think if you look between the sofa cushions on the set, you’ll find at least a nickel left over.
5. Someone snuck in when I wasn’t looking and replaced honest rock and roll with a parade of pale troubadour children in suits, ties and emovers strumming earnest guitar pap. (I realize this officially makes me an Old Fart, but dammit, our pap was the pappiest.)

Look out, 2008. Here we come!

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• Tips n' Tricks, Mr. Obama
• Snuggle for the Cause
• Lucky Numbers
• The David Carradine Playlist
• Pigs on a Plane