L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Vogued, Part 1

January 5, 2008 on 11:13 pm | In General Musing, WTF |

So I came across a copy of September’s Vogue magazine. Not that it was an easy thing to miss. At 840 (EIGHT HUNDRED AND FORTY) pages, it’s heavier than many of the models featured in its pages.

I’ve scanned a few for your viewificating horror.

The Barbie haircut syndrome. You know what I mean if you ever were a little girl with a Barbie and a pair of scissors. She starts out with beautiful long hair. This is the last stage before dots. Also, last I checked, it was normal for the upper arms to be a bit thicker than the forearms unless you’re Popeye. Would someone please throw this woman a sandwich?

Below: a medical malpractice no-brainer. She went in for a breast augmentation and the incompetent surgeon attached the implant to the side of her head. No wonder she’s got dark circles. Could YOU sleep?

Now I know where the hat from my Monopoly set went. Beyond that, words fail me. This was from an article about a famous makeup artist. She must of run out of big red noses in her kit.

Peter Pan was abducted by gay Victorian zombie urchins. Braaaaiiinnnns.

One bright spot: An amazing photo of Twila Tharp in a GAP shirt. GAP may be a has-been pimp of mundane, characterless, boring clothes clothes, but they’ve just gone up in my esteem. They are now elevated to a has-been pimp of mundane, characterless, boring clothes with the wits to throw a wheelbarrow full of money at a decent ad agency.

More to come in part 2.

See more like that one:

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