L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Tough Love

September 30, 2008 on 4:47 pm | In Backstage Pass, General Musing |

My baby was laid out on the altar, helpless and exposed. The others circled her with glinting knives.

“I don’t get it. Is it about environmentalism or BDSM or what?”

“Cut the middle verse and repeat the first verse.”

“Dog Chow from China? No one will get the reference in a few months.”

“Nah. Not latin. How about funk?”

“Too tame. If you’re gonna do it, go all the way. Be outrageous.”

Most of the time I like being a band girl. My band is my second family. But like most families, they are not just my main support but also my harshest critics. One of the toughest things I do is lay a new song on them. On one hand, I’m excited and impatient when I’ve written a new song. It’s possible to sing alone, but it’s masturbation: A substitute for the real thing. When you sing to someone, it closes a loop. The song goes out, but it comes back, it’s meaning amplified by the response of the listener. It’s sex.

Sharing a song with a band runs the gamut from group sex to mind meld to all out war. Whatever the result, it’s on another plane of intensity altogether. Prodding your toddling little baby-song into such a dangerous playground can be nerve-wracking.

This new song met a harsher fate than many in the past. She was dragged from one style to the next, stripped, examined, slapped around, and found wanting. It’s never easy to take, but sometimes rough is good. There’s a fine line between bending and breaking.

In the end, the only thing that makes the torture bearable is trust. These people I play with want everything to be not just good enough, but great. They push me. I struggle and fight. In the end I’ll rewrite. Salvaging bits and scraps where I can, taking some suggestions, deciding against others.

It will be a better song.

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