L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Play Freebird!

October 9, 2008 on 5:04 pm | | In General Musing, Music

I’m trying to think how to write this without sounding like a total fossil.

Up until just the other day, I had never played Guitar Hero or Rock Band. My children are addicts. My son won a Wii playing Guitar Hero at PAX last year. Surely a proud moment for any parent. But I remained aloof. Snooty even. Being a real musician and all.

In an odd confluence of events, these two games have led to an entire generation of teenagers who know all the songs I heard in college. Who buy Dire Straights CDs. Who can discuss the nuances of Joe Perry’s guitar solos. Who not only know who Bon Jovi is, but can tolerate his music. They want to talk about these things, but I lived through the 80s once. Why would I subject myself to it again? Whatever happened to the generation gap? Can we get it back?

I’m good at sticking to my guns. In 15 years of playing accordion I have never once played a polka. You can put that on my grave. Is there an Accordion Hero game? (Apparently there is, but alas, the whole rep is polkas.) Alas, sometimes enough influences converge to batter down even the most stubborn resistance:

First off, it looks fun, in a Tetris-y sort of way. You have to see the patterns and match them up. There’s something appealing about games like these that I think taps into one’s inner housewife - wanting to tame chaos and make things tidy.

Second, I am a musician. It shouldn’t be all that hard, right? I even get to pick out my hot rocker babe avatar. On the other hand, I am a musician, so what excuse would I have if I totally sucked at the game?

Third, an irresistible opportunity dropped into my lap (or rather pried the top off my head). Last weekend I worked at our first annual Redmond Digital Arts Festival and my bailiwick was the Digital Lounge. Which happened to contain a set up of the brand spankin’ new Rock Band 2 with a 14×11 foot screen and teeth-rattling pro sound system. I was stuck with it for over twelve hours.

Lastly, I know my kids would be insanely jealous. (And they were!)

So let me give you the old fossil report on Rock Band 2.

I tried every station at least once. None of them is even close to playing actual music. The most musical aspect of it is that if you focus on the rhythm and let that carry you, you’ll do better. The drums were probably the closest to feeling like you’re actually playing, since you do hit the pads with actual sticks. There’s even a foot pedal. I didn’t suck on easy. We played “White Wedding” by Billy Idol (the choice of a 15 year old). Next I played bass. That was probably the easiest. I only felt like a cringing, stumbling half-wit. If you’ve never played it, the controller looks like a guitar, but it’s just a fancy box for buttons. You could play the game on your PC keyboard. (though it wouldn’t be as fun.) Next was guitar - same controller as bass, harder parts. I suck.

I was most interested in the vocal role. Since singing is mostly what I do, I figured I’d REALLY suck. And I wasn’t entirely wrong about that. The problem for real singers is, the game only scores you for accuracy. You don’t get any points at all for originality or interpretation. In fact, you’re dinged for it. Big Brother wants you to toe the party line. I knew it wouldn’t be like singing but I was surprised at HOW MUCH not like singing it was. Your voice is just another controller: push the right button at the right time or lose the point.

(On a side note I’ll come back to another time, a friend has created a way to make a Guitar Hero controller out of a real guitar. I’m not sure if that is a move towards greater good or evil in the world.)

Overall, I’d say it’s fun and potentially addicting. My avatar, Heather Moonbeam, was hot hot hot. It IS Tetris-y. It ISN’T music-y, but that’s ok. I have music. I’d make different choices in regard to repertoire, but my musical tastes are proven non-money-makers.

Best of all, I totally pwned my kids.

See more like that one:

• Showtime!
• Tip of the Old Derby
• Deploring the Rings
• The Bonehead of the Opera
• Sibling Revelry