L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

Lies, Damn Lies and Publishing

October 11, 2008 on 10:10 am | In General Musing, In the news |

Some time ago I came across a website of one sentence true stories.  I can’t remember exactly how long ago this was, but let’s call it a year. So, a year ago I submitted a story and promptly forgot about it. Yesterday I received notice that my story had been accepted for publication.

This is not promising news for someone writing a novel. Let’s do the math. My story is 27 words long and took a year to wend its way through the publishing process. That is nearly two weeks per word. At that rate, it will take approximately 370 years to get my novel published.

Guides and blogs for aspiring writers are rife with depressing statistics mostly having to do with the tiny nose hair your manuscript represents in the agent’s or publisher’s elephantine slush pile. By far, my favorite blog on the subject is Miss Snark, Literary Agent. An amusing read even if you’re not in the biz.

It’s possible to read too much advice. We find ourselves writing to an imaginary agent sometimes rather than to a reading audience. If you’re to have any chance at all, they shriek, the first five pages are critical. You must suck the agent into the story, knock her socks off, have her panting to know what’s on page six. We cut a good ten pages of exposition so that we could squeeze the entire opening premise of the book into the first few pages. Did we sell our artistic souls?

I hate to admit it, but it’s better now.

Still, I’m reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck right now and I don’t think he’d fare too well in the mammoth slush pile wars. What advice might a modern editor give to improve his chances of catching a publisher’s eye?

Dear Mr. Steinbeck,

Thank you for sending us your manuscript. The writing is excellent, but I’m afraid it’s not for us. The first entire chapter is devoted to the history of the Salinas Valley. Modern readers expect to be engaged from the first line. Perhaps if you opened with some exciting action, such as Cathy’s beating at the hands of Mr. Edwards it would draw the reader into the story more immediately. You can always fill in backstory later on. I hope you will take these suggestions in the spirit in which they were given. Best of luck in your future writing endeavors.

Ms. Agent

Is it too soon to practice being bitter?

See more like that one:

• Drabble Babble
• Deranged Atheist Sock Monkey
• Supershort
• Flasher
• Go Commando for Literacy