L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

No Twine For Me

December 7, 2008 on 3:06 pm | | In General Musing

It’s an odd, almost dreamlike experience to ride in a car wedged into the cargo area between a mattress and the door with no view but straight up at a sliver of sky. The sky is brilliant blue with streaks of foamy white swirled through it as if by the hand of some meteorological barista. Occasionally the bony fingertips of winter trees stir the edges. Freeway signs pass too quickly to read. One time a jet swam by, silent as a trout. I can’t get my bearings, but I’m not too concerned. I know the route well enough to make rough guesses and it’s more pleasant to slip into the sky and just drift. It’s a brief respite from the stress.

We’re on our way home from IKEA. A trip that began badly. I know where IKEA is. I’ve been there before. You can see the damn blue and yellow sign thrusting up above surrounding office parks and car dealerships from the freeway. If you’re on the right freeway, it turns out. But no matter! We got there eventually and joined the throngs. We were on a mission to buy a sofa bed. Alan emptied his room when he moved out. He’s coming home for the holidays and I hate to make the boy sleep on the floor. Call me a doting mom, I don’t care.

We found the sofa bed we were looking for. w00t! And some great little glass tumblers just like the ones they serve wine in at Greek cafes and a lamp and some purple storage boxes. All with friendly Swedish names. So far so good. There was even a short line at checkout. Score!

Not so fast. The one woman in front of us apparently bought one of every item in the store under $10. And that covers a lot of inventory. She didn’t buy two of anything, so each item had to be scanned separately. It took over 40 minutes to check her out, what with price checks (she couldn’t pass on the orange, electric candelabra no matter how long it took the poor harried woman on the other end of the walkie-talkie to find one with a tag on it). Her total came to $561.57. A number burned on my hyperventilating psyche forever. The cashier was sweat-streaked at panting at the end of it.

She gave us a 15% discount for “being patient.” Maybe we seemed patient. The internal eyerolling alone should have registered on the richter scale. The mutterings of my husband peeled the skin off the back of my neck.

Then: Sofa Bed Meets Honda Fit. I love my Fit. They don’t call it that for nothing. I swear it’s bigger inside than outside. It took several tries, a passle of colorful language and cost me the rearview mirror, but damnit, we wedged it in and shut the hatch. No twine for this girl.

No twine comes at a cost though: no passenger seat. We were doing good to keep most of the driver’s seat.

That’s all right. I like the view of the sky. For a peaceful half hour I don’t have to think about taking it OUT of the car.

See more like that one:

• Sibling Revelry
• Sweets to the sweet. Here, have a nut.
• Bathtub of the Black Lagoon
• It's not the heat...
• Moon Falling Down, Mother Goose Take