Too Hip to Crotch Walk

December 12, 2008 on 8:59 am | | In Arts, Backstage Pass, Found, General Musing

I suspect Overheard In New York is playing games with us. Twice in one day they tossed out the term “crotch walk.” My natural assumption was that even though I’d never heard it, if I were to ask my kids they’d roll their eyes so far back in their heads they could watch their hair grow from the inside, sigh dramatically and wag their heads at the tragedy of having such a hopelessly dinosaurific mother. Where have you been?

But ossified or not, I was curious. I mean, you can imagine what it is, right? Well, it turns out that, as least as far as the internets know, crotch walking is still slang of the future. Some snooping around turned up very little - a couple of short, incoherent videos too dim to share here and none of which agreed. Is it walking with a hip thrust on each step? Strutting while grabbing your crotch? Gingerly stepping to avoid irritating a rash? It’s not even in Urban Dictionary yet.

I came across one source suggesting it’s a law-enforcement term for a particular type of shoplifting wherein a woman in a loose skirt grips items between her thighs and walks out. Apparently this is a common way to make off with whole hams and small appliances.

So what’s the deal? Is Overheard on that much of the bleeding edge? Did they overhear new slang or are they making it up? Could I make new slang? If I casually start inserting, oh, say “choxymoron” into blog posts and conversation, will it spread? Would I want to unleash such a word on an unsuspecting world?

The danger is slim. Despite years of flogging it, renown eludes me. Even my youtube video of Light the Fucking Candles is creeping glacially towards 2,000 views after nearly two months while a grainy security video of a teenager dropping a pizza has gotten 200,000 views in a single day. I do not have the knack for popular.

In any case, this post gives me a rare opportunity to feel hip enough to crotch walk from here to the post office with a box of fresh, homemade baklava for the person who comes up with the best definition of choxymoron.

And do watch out for a woman who can sashay casually down a street with an espresso maker between her thighs.

UPDATE: My kids assure me that they heard the term at least two years ago and it’s a stupid manner of leading each step with a pelvic thrust. Some self-crotch-grabbing may be included for emphasis. The term is derisive, in their opinion.

UPDATE 2: A youth golf coach friend says she sees this walk frequently among young men who wear those super-baggy jeans. If they walked in a normal upright posture, they’d never stay up. And the winner of the box of baklava (just baked today) is: Dreah.

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  1. Ha! I found your site while googling “crotch walk” because I, too, have no idea what it means (and saw the same posts). Unless you and I are the only clue-free Overheard fans in the universe you may have hit on a topic that will finally push your hit rate sky-high.

    Comment by Jeff — December 12, 2008 #

  2. I too saw the Overheard posts, started googling and found your blog the same as Jeff. Your post is in the top five google results for this new and intriguing term.

    Comment by Gabe — December 12, 2008 #

  3. The trifecta! This is right at the top- and yes, after seeing the same posts!

    Comment by Joe — December 12, 2008 #

  4. Same, same, same. Very interesting blog post, I hope we can figure out the meaning soon.

    Comment by David — December 12, 2008 #

  5. Fifth!

    Same story as above.

    Comment by efd — December 12, 2008 #

  6. Sixth!

    I can tell you from a similar experience on my old blog, you are now in danger of receiving inquiries about crotch-walking . . . forever.

    Comment by Bill A — December 12, 2008 #

  7. Heh. Fame comes in mysterious ways.

    Comment by Eva Moon — December 12, 2008 #

  8. Google says this blog knows what a “Crotch Walk” is?

    (Yes, via “Overheard”)

    Comment by James Barlow — December 13, 2008 #

  9. As the first person to read your post who didn’t google “Crotch Walk”I would like to offer a definition of Choxymoron: This is somebody who will do anything for chocolate, even if it’s stupid and degrading — a chocolate whore if you will.

    Comment by Dreah — December 13, 2008 #

  10. Ditto on all counts!

    My first mental image was of that campy 70s kind of cartoon that was parodied in the Simpsons, with a guy strutting along with his pelvis leading. Kind of a loping pimp-walk. (This is because I read the Obama post on Overheard first, and it seemed to fit with the way the girl wished he would be cool and casual about the new post).

    The thrusting version is also a contender, but it didn’t sit right with me (maybe because I REALLY can’t picture Obama being anything less than perfectly dignified!!). So I dunno… I hate when I can’t know things. I’m going to start surveying everyone I know in NYC, now. :)

    Comment by SW — December 13, 2008 #

  11. I also found this site after reading ‘Overhead in New York’ and searching “crotch walk” on Google and checking the Urban Dictionary. Nice to finally have an answer. Thanks.

    Comment by Izzy — December 13, 2008 #

  12. Ditto those above…Overheard to Urban dictionary to here! Going to watch your video, maybe that’ll help your views.

    SW, I definitely pictured the Simpsons thing too!

    Comment by kt — December 14, 2008 #

  13. Same old trail. We’re like ants!

    Comment by Sarah — December 14, 2008 #

  14. Yeah, the same. I was on Overheard, tried Urban Dictionary, and then googled it, and wound up here.

    Glad I’m not alone :)

    Comment by Emily — December 15, 2008 #

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