L U N A T A L K with Eva Moon

National Wax

December 31, 2009 on 1:09 pm | | In General Musing, Sex Files

I think most people know what a Brazilian Bikini Wax is by now. It’s the full rain forest clear cut. And who says women aren’t tough?

But did you know that if they leave that little landing strip in the front it’s called French Wax? So I started wondering, do other countries have waxing patterns? Is it like a national anthem or a state bird? What would the waxing patterns be? Here are some possibilities plucked from my imagination - and a few ripped off from friends:

1. American Wax - you voted twice and still ended up with a bush.
2. Martian Wax - crop circles
3. Norwegian Wax - plenty of forest but you can see the fjords
4. Seattle Wax - took off the hair but replaced it with polar fleece
5. Al Qaeda Wax - like a Brazilian but they send the tape to Al Jazeera
6. Nigerian Wax - instead of wax they use the more permanent pentaerythritol
7. TSA Wax - everything from head to toe before you can get on the plane - but they miss the pubes
8. Canadian Wax - it’s free but you have to wait three years for an appointment
9. Tiger Woods Wax - you pay but ten other women get waxed
10. iPhone Wax - there’s a wax for that. It removes hair in cute little icon patterns.
11. Chinese Wax - quick and inexpensive, but it grows back in an hour
12. Wall Street Wax - you can get ripped off without even leaving home
13. Punk Wax - who says you have to be limited to one mohawk?

Got any more? Bare them here. And don’t forget to download my song “Brazilian Wax.”

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